Bible Class: Lesson 30

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect, self-belief, self-worth, the feeling of being important and useful in a relationship or life. Self-esteem is an individual's subjective evaluation of their own worth and feelings. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is the positive belief in your abilities, judgement and worth that enables you to act with courage, resilience and conviction in various situations. Self-confidence is associated with self-esteem. Self-confidence inspires and motivates self-esteem. For the Christian, the source of that positive belief that makes up self-confidence is centered on God. Self-confidence is associated with the positive phrases; I will and I can, 

• Philippians 4:13
  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Developing positive self-esteem

Self-esteem is a human quality and trait that is developed and natured. The development of self-esteem starts with you as a person. You need to build, shape, nurture and develop your own self-esteem and identity. You need to know who you are. Persons should feel comfortable in their own skin. This positive self-esteem is not based on conceit, pride and arrogance.

• 1 Corinthians 15:10
  But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
• Romans 12:3
  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you.
• Galatians 2:6
  As for those who were held in high esteem whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not show favoritism they added nothing to my message.

The perception of people and self-esteem

People can influence and shape our self-esteem. What they think and perceive of us, can affect and influence our self-esteem. People will always talk. They will have negative perceptions. They will unjustly criticize, judge and find fault with us. People perceived Jesus and John in a negative way. The Corinthians questioned the apostleship of Paul. We should not allow what people think of us to define who we are. We should care more about what God thinks of us more than what people think.

• 1 Corinthains 9:1-3
  Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are you not the result of my work in the Lord? Even though I may not be an apostle to others, surely, I am to you! For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord. This is my defense to those who sit in judgment on me.
• Luke 7:33-34
  For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’
• 1 Corinthians 4:3-4
  I care very little, however, if I am judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not vindicate me. It is the Lord who judges me.

Self-esteem and pleasing people

The self-esteem of people is affected because they seek to please people. They seek human approval, and to be in the good books of people. They seek to compromise to look good in the eyes of people. Thus, they have a low view and understanding of themselves.

• Galatians 1:10
  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Low self-esteem and confidence

Low self-esteem and confidence are often interconnected, as low self-esteem can lead to a lack of confidence in one’s ability and perceived worth. Persons with low self-esteem may feel inadequate and unloved. Low self-esteem may lead to negative criticism and perception of one’s self, abilities and worth. It may also lead to health and mental issues such as depression and anxiety.

What is poor self-esteem?

Poor and low self esteem are close and maybe used interchangeably. They refer to the state, quantity and quality of the feeling and perception of one’s self. It is the feeling of being unloved, unworthy, unwanted and unappreciated for who I am and what I do in a relationship or life. It is the feeling of shame, regret, despair and failure in a relationship or the things you do. The one talented man had poor self-esteem. Poor self-esteem makes us feel that we are not important, we are not as good as others, and we are destined to fail. It will also cause us to compare ourselves with others. Poor self-esteem will cause us not to try or be innovative. It will fill our hearts with fear and failure. The one talented man may have had both low and poor self esteem.

• Matthew 25:24-30
  Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art a hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. “But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So, you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. So, take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents. ‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Things that can affect our self-esteem and confidence

There are many factors that may contribute to a person having poor and low self-esteem and confidence. These things may contribute to poor self-esteem; negative criticism, comparing with other people, belittling, insulting, mistreatment, feeling inadequate, feeling unwelcome, physical, mental and emotional abuse, stress and anxiety.

Affirmative self-esteem

Affirmations are statements that we say to ourselves. These statements can shift our minds in ways that can make us feel better about ourselves and our lives. God empowers and gives confidence to his people to do, and accomplish great things. I am loved. I am worthy. I can and I am able. These affirmations enhance emotional and mental health, as well they build hope and confidence.

• Philippians 4:13
  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

The power of positive thinking

God created us with a powerful mind. We are what we put in our minds and think. If we think on positive things, and saturate our minds with wholesome thoughts, that is what we will become in life. If we think that we are important, we have worth and value, that is what we will become. If we think that we are no good and we are not important that is what we will likely become.

• Philippians 4:8
  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.
• Proverbs 23:7
  For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.
• Luke 6:45
  The good man brings good things out of the good treasure of his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil treasure of his heart. For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

The effects of positive self-esteem

Positive self-esteem may impact and enhance our lives. How we feel about ourselves, may affect our health positively. Also, how people think, perceive and feel about us may have a positive impact on our life. Positive compliments can enhance our lives. Encouraging words and congratulations can build and motivate us.

• Philippians 1:3-4
  I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,
• Romans 12:15
  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Self-esteem and shame

The things we do in life can bring shame and reproach to our lives and family. Some people may handle the shame and move on, but others may not handle it well. Sinful and wrongs things may contribute to poor self-esteem and guilt. The guilt of betrayal caused Judas to look negatively at himself. He committed suicide.

• Matthew 27:3-5
  When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So, Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Self-esteem, confidence and Christianity

Some persons are not proud to be Christians. When they are with friends and people, they feel ashamed and embarrassed. They do not have confidence to talk to people about Jesus. Why do people feel that way about Christianity and Christ?

• 2 Timothy 1:8
  So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.
• 2 Timothy 1:12
  That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.
• 1 Peter 4:16
  However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

The impact of poor self-esteem

Too little self-esteem can leave people feeling defeated or depressed. It can also lead people to make bad choices, fall into destructive relationships, or fail to live up to their full potential. Poor self-esteem can cause despair, resentment, shame, depression, stress and anxiety. Poor self-esteem can affect family, love and relationship, togetherness, communication and sexual relationship. Negative criticism and telling people that they are no good and useless, can severely affect them. These negative things may affect their lives emotionally and mentally.

Patience and self-confidence

The Jewish Christians of the 1st Century were facing severe persecution. They were told not to give up and throw away their confidence and self-belief. The confidence they have should encourage patience. They should have patience in suffering.

• Hebrews 10:34-36
  You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Self confidence builds reliance on God

Judah faced mighty nations in battle. They placed their confidence in God to fight their battles. Christians should do the same. When we face problems and persecution, we should allow God to fight our battles.

• 2 Chronicles 20:1-4
  After this, the Moabites and Ammonites with some of the Meunites came to wage war against Jehoshaphat. Some people came and told Jehoshaphat, “A vast army is coming against you from Edom, from the other side of the Dead Sea. It is already in Hazezon Tamar” (that is, En Gedi). Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the LORD, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the LORD; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek him.
• 2 Chronicles 20:12
  Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
• 2 Chronicles 20:15
  He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Overcoming poor self esteem

To overcome poor self-esteem, we need to identify the causes. Decide that your life is yours and you need to take control. Start believing that you are important. Start doing and engaging in things that can build confidence. Surround yourself with positive people and thoughts that can build. Avoid negative people. Depend on God to give you strength and will power to do things.